worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
