Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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