I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
