I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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