talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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