So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize