Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
it was like having sex with a tree stump
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
