I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
