Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
