Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize