at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
