I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
