my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
