When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
