And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
