You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
