Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize