also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
