If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Randomize
