It's Friday. Sex?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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