Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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