Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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