sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
