you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
