HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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