mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize