I just made out with a guy for $7.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She told me I should be a condom model.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
