God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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