ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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