I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
your room smells of hookers.
And success
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
