i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
