Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The air was thick with penises
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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