i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he puts the penis in happiness.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
