Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now

(810): View more from Michigan

I'm so hungover and dru,k

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(208): View more from Idaho

I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table

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(503): View more from Oregon

After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.

(808): View more from Hawaii

oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...

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(703): View more from Virginia

I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.

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(804): View more from Virginia

What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?

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(985): View more from Louisiana

He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"

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(317): View more from Indiana

I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.

(1-317): View more from Indiana

Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker

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