Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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