stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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