okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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