i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
