I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
