lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
