i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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