he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
