So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
