she looked like the bat from fern gully.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
