As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i think i have two assholes
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
