he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
