reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
