I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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