This dress was meant to end up on your floor
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I stole a fireplace last night.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
