Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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