I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
