I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
