Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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