I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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