It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize