I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize