i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
